Archive for the ‘akaWedding’ Category


gone fishin’

October 2, 2008

yeah, so i’m pretty much outta here.  not for good, mind you.  just life and politics and oh, yeah, that whole getting married thing.  my world is shutting down on friday at noon to pledge my life to the man that i love, spend time with my friends and family and get the hell out of amerika for a few weeks.

catch ya on the flip side, blogosphere!



July 31, 2008

i’ve never had any article of clothing professionally altered.  like, ever.  so on the advice of a friend with experience in such matters, i visited aiko’s alterations late yesterday afternoon. 

aiko greeted me with a loud “heh-row!” as i entered the door to her crowded shop.  short, round and very japanese, aiko has the spunk of a teenager mixed with a heady dose of business woman savvy.  she pointed me toward the dressing room and i put on “the dress”.

“where you wearin’ dis dwess”, aiko asked. 

“oh, this is my wedding dress”, i responded.

aiko: ohhhhh!  my, my.  how plitty.  plitty, plitty dwess. we take it in dis spot and pin dis pwace.

me: wow. i didn’t even notice that little pucker along the bodice.

aiko:  know what you need?  you need veil.  i show you one!

me:  um, well, i’m not really wearing a veil.  the wedding is very non-traditional.

aiko:  oh, no.  veil make dwess more wedding.  make you more bride. 

me:  uh, i can try it on but i really think it will make me look too –

aiko:  here!

at which point aiko shoves a few feet of stiff tulle attached to a cheap plastic hair comb into my scalp.

and she was right.  it was magical.  it was the first time in my life that i actually felt like a bride.  i’ve heard this from other women – that the veil adds a feyly quality to the wedding day attire – but i’m not the type of bride that wears a veil, right?  right??


let the guest list wars begin!

July 26, 2008

just when we thought the guest list was down to a manageable number…it has ballooned…again.

mr. d and i are both at fault.  it’s a strange dance, this guest list thing.  you put someone on the list who you haven’t talked to in years but neglect to invite someone else who you see every day.  you move things around – take someone off, put someone on.  but the someone you put on has a significant other so that ups the list by one.  and then you get a call from your aunt fifi who says she and uncle bubba can’t come but they’ll send a toaster and you’re all like, “cool!  down two!!”  so you start thinking about whether you should invite that one dude you went to college with who does keg stands on his bare knuckles or that couple that you don’t really know very well but who invited you to their wedding a few years ago.  you invite college friend and couple.  you’re obsessed.

the invitations go out on monday.  i anticipate 367 changes in the meantime.



July 3, 2008

yeah, yeah.  it’s been a while.  do you think i didn’t realize?  i’ve actually been quite busy.  thank you very much.  if you thought planning an akawedding was hard, try running for public office.

yes.  you heard me right.  i’m running for public office.  it’s a tiny, unpaid office.  but it’s public and i actually have to convince people to vote for me.

so, yeah.  i’ve been busy.  and totally overwhelmed.  although i’m super excited about the prospect of winning i am an impossibly lazy fuck who sees all of the work ahead of me and thinks, “why did i agree to do this?”  the fact that i will be out of the country on my honeymoon for the three weeks before the election doesn’t bode well for my chances of actually being elected.   

my other problem is one of self-confidence.  the worry that i will “fail” in one way or another weighs heavily on my mind.  will the copy on my website and campaign literature convey my message enough?  can i answer potential voters’ questions clearly enough?  do my stump speeches come off as intelligent and natural enough?  am “i” enough?

of course i hope so.  and it will take every ounce of me to make it so.

wish me luck!


the whatnots

June 5, 2008

i’m sitting outside.  it’s hot.  and i’m being eaten alive by mosquitoes.  the steamy lap top isn’t helping.  note to self: google “DIY mosquito repellent” ASAP.

not much new on the akaWedding front.  well, maybe i spoke too soon: 

 – we ordered tulle, yes, tulle, for some lighting stuff we want to do in the venue.  exciting. 

 – i have tentative plans to go to michael’s this weekend to pick up some things for potential centerpieces.  for those that care – square glass vases, river rocks, square glass votive holders, etc.  i also want to check out paper bags for luminaria and/or DIY seed packet favors. 

 – a few of my girlfriends are throwing mr. D and i a wedding shower in august.  i’m really excited about it!  we’re asking guests to help us “stock-the-bar” for the akaWedding by bringing their favorite champagne or vodka (for a signature champagne cocktail.  recipe TBD).  my only fear is that this party will be as cool if not cooler than the actual akaWedding.  it’s at a local mid-to-upper-swanky bar, there will be music, food, etc.

 – we are currently having a huge debate (hyperbole) with the wedding planner about the DJ.  her contact came in way over budget, especially considering we’ll be supplying most if not all of the music via iPod/.MP3 (we’re/i’m picky).  and we could just do the iPod playlist thing with a friend setting up a real PA system for amplification, but we’re worried about transitions and flow.  i mean, what happens if eating takes longer than expected and biggie, ludicris or outkast start bumpin’ as my grammie is finishing her rosemary chicken skewer?  that shit is reserved for when she’s had her limit of champagne cocktail and can’t decipher the lyrics and booty dancing!  from the  begining, our vision was to have more of an emcee who can blend the generally appointed playlists at the generally appointed times.  basically, we need someone to clue our guests into what’s going on – “let’s eat!” or “and now, ladies and fuckwads, we will cut the cake” kinda thing – while playing the appropriate music.  we’re (or mr. D, i should say) now looking to people we know locally who have DJ set-ups and who are rightfully DJs, though more club DJs, to see if anyone will help by showing up, setting up and minding the flow, possibly doing some emcee stuff.  mr. D can’t understand why the wedding planner can’t take on the emceeing responsibility herself.  i understand why this would be a burden for her considering all of the other shit she’s going to be doing that day but i’m not sure whether i want to ask a friend/akaWedding attendee to do it.  maybe, if we can find someone to deal with the musical flow,  mr. D and i will have to take on the emceeing ourselves.  thoughts or advice are always appreciated.

 – the invites are ordered and although they are very simple, i cannot WAIT to see them.  i think this will put everything into perspective; it will be officially official!

 – and because i know he’ll read this eventually, i will say only that i ordered a wedding gift for mr. D today.  it rocks!

 – and as the weeks pass i am more and more stumped by the whole “no ceremony” thing.  trying to come up with alternative ideas has been difficult and with 122 days left until the Big Day i’m getting a bit nervous.  i know the other stuff – the food, drinks, decorations, favors, DJ or not, etc. – will come together but the task of creating an entire akaCeremony from the ground up is hitting me as this HUGE challenge.  with no officiant to rely on it will be just the two of us…doing what exactly?  cuttin’ the fool, as my lovely friend d would say.  and if i’m totally overwhelmed by it now, imagine how i’ll be on the day!  “hot mess” comes to mind.  i know mr. D and i have no problem telling each other how we feel about love and commitment.  in those wee hours of the morning when a 9 minute snooze seems like hours or milliseconds and it’s just us.  and with no one guiding us, forcing us even, to answer the question “do you?” in front of a room full of people, will we be able to convey just exactly what we will “do”…love, honor, cherish, teach, guide, snuggle, breathe for, encourage, conspire with, and on and on.









akaWedding updates

May 27, 2008

 – i have a dress!  purchased at a “fine department store” with the help of a close friend who swears she “felt chills” upon my donning, it is exactly what i wanted.  i think.  no, no, i know.  i just haven’t had it on for a few weeks.


 – save-the-dates  are awesome!  we totally ripped off the idea but whatev.  one of us works in a creaative field while claiming he’s not ceatiive and one of us thinks she’s creattive while being totally unsure how to spell the word.  we needed inspiration.


– invites!  done and done.  well, they’re ordered.  go us!  upon their arrival they will need to be addressed, stamped, sealed and taken to the post office.  that task should be completed by mid-july.  for an october wedding?  too early??  i’m sure the would have something to say about this! 


 – caterer rocks!  if my caterer was an LOLCat her caption would read – i no PLAN weddings.  i make dem.


 – lights, camera, holy shit this stuff’s expensive!!!  initially we weren’t going to do any major decorating of the akaWedding venue.  but, i saw two pictures online of the space decorated with tulle wrapped christmas lights and fell in love.  i’d given up the idea, however, thinking it was wayyyy outside of our budget ($750 for a professional to come out and set it up.  no thanks.) but the wedding planner is all about it, DIY style!  so, 150 yards of tulle later…  and!  we’re totally going to have a photo booth!  that too will be DIY – digital camera on a tripod with a hand held shutter button.  cross your fingers that it works! 


wherein disses my akaWedding

May 13, 2008

my akaWedding has been officially dubed a “cocktail party reception with no motherfucking ceremony”. and like any good citizen of the information age, i’ve used the interwebs a lot to help me with planning. from invitation wording, to food budgeting, to music, the world wide web is chock full of great ideas. with pictures!

for those who don’t know, the is the premiere tube destination for “couples seeking information and services to help plan their weddings and their future lives together”. gag me, right. but they are a resource nonetheless. and i was pleasantly surprised to find them at the top of a google search for “cocktail party reception with no motherfucking ceremony”.

the pleasantness ended there as we shall see below…

If you’re looking for a classy, low-cost, low-stress option, a cocktail reception may be for you. This type of reception focuses on hors d’oeuvres — either all stationary or passed, or some stationary and some passed — instead of a full meal, and guests stand and chat holding small, snack-laden plates while trying to balance their wine glasses.

the article starts off fairly well, with a complement if you will, by stating that a reception of this nature can be “classy”. i like classy and it is the most often used adjective when describing what i want my akaWedding to be. but “low-cost” and “low-stress”? not so much. and not the first insult theknot will throw my way.

i mean, i hardly think it nice to insinuate, in the first paragraph, that my guests will be holding “small” plates and uncomfortably balancing their drinks. any good cocktail party aficionado worth their weight in free booze knows you get drinks first, then scope a proper place for them, then, leaving your boyfriend to stand guard of said drinks, make your way to the food where you balance three plates of which one is for snacking off of on the way back to the above mentioned free booze. maybe i’ve been to a few too many cocktail parties in my day.  or maybe, DUH!

Because this type of reception isn’t an ideal format for the standard scheduled wedding events (bouquet toss, first dance) it may feel more like a party than a wedding reception. But if that’s what you’re after, this may be the perfect choice.

actually, there will be standard scheduled wedding events, namely champagne toast, first dance, dollar dance (we’re paying for the shit ourselves, people!), some roasting, cake cutting, and strippers. okay, maybe not strippers, but shit, theknot, good to know i have a “choice” other than stuffy ass sit down dinner and bouquet toss.

i also love their tips on timing and type of food. apparently, guests expect a “full meal” if your reception is between 6 and 10 p.m. the akaWedding is scheduled from 6:30 until whenever they kick us out (likely 11 for those who care but an afterparty is inevitable, trust). and, get this, i have to have forks if seafood ravioli is on the menu. you don’t say!  i mean, how insulting.  i’m not four.  i know what a fork is.

lastly, and the biggest fail in my book, doesn’t know my friends:

Keep in mind…[at this type of reception] guests may drink more than they would at a full meal, so liquor costs may be higher.

full meal or not, my peeps can drink. one of the many reasons why i love them so dearly.

is there no one out there in wedding planning world who understands that we’re dong it this way because WE WANT TO? because we think our friends and family will enjoy it more? because it’s not a “wedding” it’s a “cocktail party reception with no motherfucking ceremony”? it’s a celebration bitches [grab a drink, grab a glass, after that I grab yo ass]!