h1

get you own goddamn wedding!

May 12, 2008

i pity the couple who want a “real” wedding.  so far, my experience planning a “fake” one has been nothing but a pain.  dos and don’ts, etiquette, tradition.  i’m up to my eyeballs in it.  and i can’t fathom what i would feel like if i actually thought i had to follow any of the guidelines bullshit.

i’ve already expressed some of my frustration in dealing with caterers who just don’t understand the concept of having a “cocktail party reception with no motherfucking ceremony”.  i’ll try to explain but there’s this long pause, and then the jaw slacks a little as their head tilts ever so slightly to the side.  it’s as if they’re a puppy doing something completely natural, like pissing wherever they feel like, who is suddenly being yelled at by its owner.  “bah-ru?”, they say, like they’ve never heard of pissing outside or having a “cocktail party reception with no motherfucking ceremony”.  i can’t imagine i’m the first one with this crazy wacky idea.

last week i sent the copy for my invitations to a friend of mr. D’s who happens to be a wedding planner.  she can get us a 50% discount on the invites so i happily sent her the info to place the order.  here is the instant messanger exchange that soon followed:

wedding planner: hey!  i’m ordering the invitations and had a quick question.  are you sure you want to put the full address of the reception location?  usually you dont do that

me: how do people know how to get there?

WP:  well, people usually include a map if its a place that’s not well known, but im sure all of your friends know where it is or how to use google.  traditionally you wouldn’t put the full address.  and personally, i think it looks better with out the street address

me:  we have quite a few people coming from out of town. actually, most of my friends will be coming from out of town and i’d prefer not to get 50 phone calls the day of asking how to get there.

WP:  you can do which ever you want, im just making sure

me:  i just asked mr. D and he wants the full address on there.

WP:  are you sure?  it’s just not something most people do.  and it can come off as tacky

me: tacky or not, unless it’s going to cost extra or not fit on the page, we’d like to have it on there.  period

WP:  are you sure?

me:  uh, yeah

WP:  okay! :)

 

at this point i wanted to say, “get your own goddamn wedding”!  i mean, when she plans her wedding she can go ahead and have her guests driving around for hours trying to locate a venue they’ve never heard of.

and it didn’t end there, folks.  she actually called mr. D and tried to talk him into vetoing my decision.  after i’d already told her, very clearly i might add, that we both wanted the full address on the invitations.  wtf!?!

it’s so trivial, i know.  and this blog is turning into adventures in akaWedding planning, i know.  but it’s my life at the moment.  as my new header suggests…

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