April 29, 2008

my dreams have always been vivid; so brightly colored that at times i have trouble discerning them from reality.  i travel to places i’ve never been, visit with people i’ve never met, talk extensively about things i’ve never known.  then, a week or month or year later, i’ll experience something for the first time that i can sware i’ve experienced before

lately, my night visions have been exclusivly set in my bedroom.  people buzz around planning my akaWedding while i cuddle in bed.  standing next to my dresser a friend and i hug and share secrets.  work clients stream through the door and i turn over to greet them, adjusting the bedclothes to maintain some level of decency.

none of that is terribly troubling, i’ll admit.  but what is problematic, at times, is the feeling that i’m being watched as i sleep.  i’ll wake (or i’ll think i’m waking) to this terrifying feeling that someone is in my bedroom.  on one occasion i was upset enough to rouse mr. D.  i quietly whispered in his ear, “don’t move.  there is someone standing at the end of the bed.”  no, there was nothing.  but it felt so real. 

maybe it was.  maybe there was someone watching me. 

i’m trying to figure out what scares me more. 


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