November 27, 2007

during my childhood (and part of my early adulthood), the end of the Thanksgiving meal signaled the start of Christmas.  once the dishes were cleared, the turkey carcass stripped bare and divvied out into doggie bags and the pie plates distributed, talk would turn to what everyone wanted for Christmas.  in the beginning i think this was a way for the older folks in my family to occupy the little ones while they continued drinking too much wine and stretching their stomachs in anticipation of a solid month of gluttony.  later it became tradition; so much so that my mother wouldn’t let anyone leave her house without a list of at least five Christmas wishes.  

i can remember my lists vividly and how they morphed over the years.  when i was very small i wished for the typical things – cabbage patch dolls, the latest board game with a million little parts to break or loose, a bike.  approaching the age of twelve my lists changed dramatically – electric shaver for my legs, diary with lock,  Salt-N-Pepa poster.  by sixteen i had no shame – bottle of andre’ cold duck, lava lamp, plane ticket to costa rica “so i can eat brown rice and pot and get the fuck away from YOU PEOPLE!”

since my mom died i’ve handled the “what do you want for christmas” question with varying degrees of disgust, apathy, guilt.  all those years wasted with concern over stuff.  and we were one of millions of families in the US who do the same fucking thing every year.  so greedy.  so, so greedy.

and if i’m going to feel so goddamn depressed about it all you’d think i would quit giving and accepting gifts.  fuck that noise.  i like stuff.  i like lots of stuff and plan on posting my list very soon.  i also like spending time with my friends and family.  if “the season” (read: an obligation to give gifts) gives me a reason to drive to miami to see my brother and other friends, so be it.  i will chase you down with my gifts and you will like it.  oh yes, you will.

so, if any of you out there in “series-of-tubes-land” have any ideas on how to give better or greener or more conscience centered gifts, i’ll gladly take your advice.  just keep in mind, i am not hipster-fantastic.  so sad.  i am not DIY.  single tear.



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