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total eclipse of the blahs

September 21, 2007

fair warning, it gets a bit graphic in this one… 

i’ve been feeling kinda blah today.

actually most of this week.

i guess it started on sunday with the fear that i wasn’t going to have my period, like, for the next nine months. you know what i’m talking about, ladies – that roller-coaster-esque belly drop you get when you suddenly realize you’re a few days past the magical day twenty eight.

so i start counting each and every act of dirty, nasty, cum-inside-me-baby! sex i’ve had in the last thirty days. i sat for a moment, staring at the ceiling imagining each and every swimming sperm. “did i have ovulation cramps this month? was that before or after that time we screwed, like, right when i got home from work, before i could even make it up the stairs, and he bent me over and dropped his load in like a good boy**?”

it’s not that i don’t want to get pregnant or anything. i do. mr. d and i talk about it often and plan on trying, really trying, in the very near future but it is still a scary prospect.  right now we’re just playin’ chicken. 

thankfully “my friend” came to hang out first thing monday morning. what a fucking bitch. it’s not that i have body-hate issues or anything. i don’t. i love being a young woman and if bleeding like a freshly butchered pig once a month is what it takes to continue being one then, shit, i guess i’ll shut up and bleed. it’s just that it hurts really badly and i get cranky and tired and gassy and hungry and it’s like i’m a totally different person. thank goddess for those ThermaCare wraps or i’d have to take to bed for four days out of the month. seriously.

tuesday brought a new client to the office. i can’t really talk about the details but i can say that it involves a rather twisted sexual assault. the story has really kicked me in the gut. our client, the victim, could easily be me or one of my friends. this woman is handling the whole situation with incredible strength and grace and that makes me feel like a total jerk for crying about it in the bathroom.

i’ve also been working on organizing an event for the local young democrats club. the event is a week from today and still we’ve not managed to mail the 1100 post card invites we had printed. it’s like the bad news bears of political organizing. and it’s sucking the life out of me.

i’m trying not to be so bummed. i mean, it’s thursday, right? tonight i’m going to have a delicious dinner with mr. d (tune in tomorrow for more). and guess what? the weekend starts in, like, 24 hours!

this week could have been worse. i could have been tazed. i could have been sexually assaulted. i could be iraqi…or this guy.

**might be a dramatization, or might not.

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