Archive for October, 2007

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get down with the sickness

October 27, 2007

this whole quitting smoking thing has been an experience.  i will go stretches without ever thinking about a cigarette.  then, like a mac truck, it hits me and i feel like a heroin addict.  big meals, the smell of coffee and drinking booze seem to be triggers. 

tonight i had pre-dinner drinks with mr. D and friend G at a local haunt.  it’s a coffee-shop-slash-wine-bar and the smell of espresso was killing me along with the dark berry shiraz i was drinking.  it took all my energy to not stand up and proclaim my non-smoking days over.  i was THIS CLOSE to going to the store for a pack of smokes.

 but i held firm.

we had dinner and then ventured to a fairly new bar on the circuit.  a smoking bar!  i swear to fucking god that every mother in that place lit up the moment i walked in.  fuckers.

some time later G was kind enough to ask whether i minded him having a smoke.  it was at that moment that i realized that the smoky bar was quite appealing to me.  the smell was intoxicating and maybe because of that i didn’t feel the urge to smoke at all.  funny how those things work.

so now i’m home.  i can smell the smoke on me.  my hair, so beautifully non-smoky for the last few days, now smells like an ash tray.  i inhale deeply and longingly and in the same moment that i want to smoke i am also filled with a tiny bit of pride because i won’t. 

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Venus and Adonis

October 24, 2007

Like a red morn that ever yet betokened,
Wreck to the seaman, tempest to the field,
Sorrow to the shepherds, woe unto the birds,
Gusts and foul flaws to herdmen and to herds

.

the alarm clock cackles

again

eyes open, gaze falls

halcyon mornings become you

stir and shift

bodies moor together

no longer two ships

adrift in scarlet morn sky

“Fondling,” she saith, “since I have hemm’d thee here
Within the circuit of this ivory pale,
I’ll be a park, and thou shalt be my deer;
Feed where thou wilt, on mountain or in dale:
Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry,
Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie”

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one year

October 24, 2007

one year ago tonight mr. d and i had our first date.  after a boat load of sushi and bottle of sake between the two of us, we ended up back at my place.  mr. d would tell you that as he moved in for a good night hug, i jumped on him, started sucking his face and wouldn’t let him leave.  i would tell you that as i stood on tip toes to give him a good night kiss, mr. d picked me up and carried me to my bed. 

either way, we’ve only spent a handful of nights apart since.

tonight, we really didn’t do much to celebrate, what with the whole detox thing.  but we did manage to get each other gifts and man, was i outdone.

for mr. d – cufflinks, a filmmaker magazine subscription (sorry, honey, it hasn’t come in the mail yet), and a nice homemade card and note.

from mr. d – A TATTOO!!

yes, ladies and gentlemen, i will be getting my first ink very soon courtesy of mr. d. 

he is the best man who ever lived.

thank you, love.  

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enter the detox

October 22, 2007

as my previous post indicates, i’ve quit smoking.

no longer will i be huffing that first smoke of the day while driving the excruciatingly short distance to my office every morning.  no more excusing myself in the middle of dinner with friends to enjoy the one-two-punch of red wine and tobacco.  sunday mornings with coffee, newspaper and pack of camels?  not in (the rest of) this lifetime.

although i am grieving, i feel really good about my decision.  after smoking irregularly since middle school and consistently since turning 18, except for one six month stretch in my early 20s when i stopped by using hypnotherapy, it was time to quit.

i knew i would never be able to quit cold turkey – just stop smoking and continue on with my regular routine of bad food, irregular eating, coffee, booze, and late nights.  i knew i needed something holistic but drastic.  something that would take over my life and kick my ass and ultimately keep my mind off smoking…

enter the detox.

there are innumerable ways to go about detoxing one’s body – juice and water fasts, colonics, raw food diets, the Master Cleanse.  i did a lot of research and think i took the simple route by adapting Elson Haas’(The) detox diet which is fairly straight forward and not too restricting.  to read the full Hass plan click here.

my plan is essentially all the raw or steamed veggies i can eat with olive oil, tamari and/or salt, lots of water (and the water leftover from steaming veggies), carbs in the morning (fruit, brown rice and quinoa), protein in the afternoon (lentils, fish or chicken) and all the caffeine free tea i can drink. everything else is out – no coffee, no booze, no dairy, no sugar. i’m also taking lots of supplements – vitamin e, selenium, fish oil and EmergenC for immune support and lymph cleansing, psyllium and senna tea for bowel cleansing, and white willow bark for headache help.

so, how are things going, you ask?  it’s taken me about four days to write this post, that’s how tired i’ve been, and i’ve been suffering with a killer headache from the caffeine withdrawal.  i’m getting my energy back for the most part and i’ve not been hungry or had any serious food cravings.  i have, however, been constantly aware of my desire for a cigarette.  it’s almost overwhelming at times.  i really miss the sense of relaxation i would get from “taking a break” to go outside and smoke.  the great thing about all this is that Mr. D has agreed to participate as well.  he’s been hugely supportive.  i really can’t thank him enough.  [i love you, pf].

i really don’t have much more to say as i’m feeling kinda blah.  maybe later. 

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nice knowing ya, joe camel

October 18, 2007

good riddance.

more tomorrow.

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icanhascheezburger does it again

October 16, 2007
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wherein post secret makes me cry…again

October 15, 2007
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cocktoberfest: why are you mo-fos not showing the luv

October 14, 2007

tonight was my friend G’s birthday.  we had dinner and went to cocktoberfest.  loved the cock, loved the beer, loved the night.  it was good.

the night started at “the melting pot” – fondue heaven, if you’re in to that sort of thing.  four hours and a c-note later mr. d and i were stuffed and ready to drink. 

enter cocktoberfest.  two dollar Hack-Pschorr. need i say more?

we arrived at one of our locals after midnight (yeah, we sat down to dinner at 8:15 and didn’t get to the second location until 12.  ouch.).  there was a party goin’ on.  the short version goes a little something like this – five people, five liters, best time wins.

the group watched the festivities with awe for the first and second round.  then mr. d and his gang thought it wise to enter the contest.  but, as far as the owners were concerned, the night was over.  in their defense, they had already shelled out 20 liters of beer and had a winner.  why keep going, right?

little did they know we had a friend among us who works for the local news outlet who happened to have his camera and used his credentials to get another round of beer drinking to commence.

needless to say, there is video of the event.  my peeps drinking and winning even with a penalty of “spilling” and perhaps “puking” (mr. d’s brother) and the other side drinking and drinking and drinking…and then one of the other team puking like crazy.

overall a really fun time.

so, a question for you.  seriously.  i see people coming to check out my blog.  i’ll admit.  it’s nothing special.  nothing.  really.  but wouldn’t this place be that much better with some comments?

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As promised: Spanish White Bean Soup

October 13, 2007

In my Friday Fruits and Veggies post earlier today I promised the following recipe for my Spanish White Bean Soup. It is adapted (my notes in italics) from a Sara Moulton classic.

Spanish White Bean Soup

first and foremost, allow two hours to cook the beans. if you don’t anticipate this process you’ll never get the soup in time for dinner. i tend to make it a day ahead because of this lengthy step. i will admit however, that i’ve made it along side dinner and ate a small portion of the soup as a side as soon as it is finished. it is, however ans thakfully, much better heated up the day after preparation. also be advised that you’ll need two pans – a stock pot and a large fry pan.

1/2 pound dried white beans, such as Great Northern, rinsed and picked over

8 1/2 cups chicken stock, (preferably homemade) (buy at least three boxes of stock, 4 cups each. i find i always need to add some at the end to push it from the edge of stewdom)

1 bay leaf, preferably Turkish

Kosher salt

Pinch saffron threads (this is expensive but, i’ve found, important. if you can’t afford the saffron, by all means, skip it. if you can, add a solid pinch the first time you make it and hold back on subsiquent trys to get your peronal balance between expense and flavor)

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

3 Spanish chorizo sausages, about 3/4 pound, cut into 1/2-inch dice (i’ve also used spicy/hot italian sausage. cut half into pieces with casing and cut half out of the casing and mash it into a crumble. this provides the proper texture)

1 large onion, finely chopped

4 garlic cloves, minced

1 large red bell pepper, finely diced (i’ve used green pepper and other veggies i have laying around. what good is a soup if you can’t get rid of all the old stuff in the fridge?)

1 tablespoon sweet paprika (or more to taste)

1 small bunch kale, about 3/4 pound, tough stems removed, washed well, and coarsely chopped (here you can use anything, literally. i’ve reached for spinach, chard, escarole, anything green and leafy will do.)

Freshly ground black pepper

Sherry vinegar, to taste (any vinegar will do as this is simply a garnish. i would stick to something semi clear, however – red wine, apple cider, white balsamic, etc.)

Place the beans in a large pot or soup kettle (the bigger the better). Pour in 8 cups of the stock and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to medium and add the bay leaf and a pinch of salt. Cook, partially covered, stirring often and adjusting the heat to keep it at a slow steady simmer, until the beans are tender, about 2 hours (or more. be prepared to baby the beans.). Remove and discard the bay leaf.

Soak the saffron in the remaining 1/2 cup chicken stock.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chorizo (or sausage) and cook, stirring often, until lightly browned, about 5 minutes. Use a slotted spoon to transfer to a plate.

Add the onion; reduce the heat to medium and cook, stirring often, until softened, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute longer. Stir in the red pepper and the paprika. Cook for 2 minutes longer, (i find these steps to take longer than the recipe suggests. you want to make sure that the veggies are cooked to beyond recognition. the soup is chunky enough as it is with the meat, beans and greens.) then transfer the contents of the skillet to the bean pot.

Stir in the saffron with the soaking liquid, the chorizo, and the kale. (at this point you will likely want to add more stock. much more stock. add as much as you think you want in your finished product.) Bring back to a simmer and cook just until the kale is wilted, about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, (IF EATING NOW) stir in the vinegar, and serve hot in warmed soup bowls. If not eating now, store soup in the fridge and add vinegar to each bowl upon serving

ENJOY!

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Friday Fruits and Veggies: Fall Is Here

October 13, 2007

My Friday Fruits and Veggies for this week are…drum roll, please…..

Rainbow Chard
Jewel Sweet Potato
Delicata Squash
Parsnips
Basil
Gala Apples
Plum Angeleno

A basket of Fall! Here in Southwest Florida we’re supposed to have a cold front this weekend so I might have to bust out a few soups on Sunday. I make a close to perfect Spanish White Bean soup with spicy sausage or chorizo, saffron, white beans, peppers and some kind of leafy green, this time the chard from my veggie basket (I’ll post the recipe later). This basket is also begging for a potato and parsnip puree/soup. Tonight I’ll make a quick pesto with the basil. Maybe I can get Mr. D to make his delicious spaghetti squash stuffing for the Delicata. Pretty, please?

In other food news, New York will see the opening of a new documentary about food. I can’t wait for it to make its way to our tiny little Art House Theatre.  King Cornis about two friends who move to Iowa to get to the bottom of where their food comes from. Why Iowa, you may ask? Well, Iowa is prime farm country for growing corn, specifically the type of corn that is made into high fructose corn syrup and other processed foods. And this is important, because?  Michael Pollan, quoted in this New York Times article, has a few things to say about corn:

If you take a McDonald’s meal, you don’t realize it when you eat it, but you’re eating corn…Beef has been corn-fed. Soda is corn. Even the French fries — half the calories in the French fries come from the fat they’re fried in, which is liable to be either corn oil or soy oil.
So when you’re at McDonald’s, you’re eating Iowa food. Everything on the plate is corn.

It’s attack of the corn!  It’s everywhere!!  RUN!!!  Now don’t get me wrong, I actually love the stuff, can hardly contain myself for the three or four weeks during the summer when Florida Sweet Corn is at its sicky sweetest and cheapy cheapest.  I’m not bashing fresh corn here, it’s the genetically modified, agri-businessed, processed to death shit that rubs me raw.  To get a better idea of the role corn plays in politics, America’s obesity problem, economics, etc., check out Pollan’s book, The Omnivore’s Dilemma.

Any interesting corn facts you’d like to share?